i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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