Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
