false alarm. still invincible.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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