remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
