OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
