i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
