Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
