I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
