Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
