You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
