I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
