Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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