omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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