i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
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