Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize