Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
