I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
