soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
