Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
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Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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