Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
