Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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