You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
