yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
