you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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