ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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