I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize