but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
