dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
