He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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