I want to stick my p in your. b.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize