you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
