Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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