I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
