My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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