Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
