i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
