I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
