So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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