i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Vodka?
Forever.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
