so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
