I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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