What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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