so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He better not be in your backpack
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
