You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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