Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...