Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize