Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
