U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
