Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
