hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
