i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
BRING THE BAGELS
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I party with great urgency now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
