i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We had to coat check the pizza.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
