Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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