windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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