I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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