the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
