Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
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Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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