I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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