Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
