omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize