i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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