Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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