ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
